Saturday, December 29, 2012

Time Travel (A Journey Through 2012)

I miss many things that made my childhood awesome, but one of the things I miss most is my time machine. In it I would embark on adventures, breaking the laws of time and space, going back in time to ride dinosaurs, or into the future to stop the bound to happen zombie apocalypse. My time machine would take me whenever my heart would desire, that is of course until my mother asked me to stop being an idiot and get out from under the bed. I would leave my time machine, amused by her simple mind’s inability to decipher the intricacies of time travel.

As I grew older, I too would suffer the same fate as my mother. Time travel, lost its appeal. But occasionally, I would long for the good old time travelling days, mostly while enduring an afternoon double lesson, I would yearn for the days when I would travel into the future; or after exam results were out I would long to go back to the past. Sadly though, the older I grew, the more detached I was from time travel. Then a few days ago, while staring for a long time at nothing in particular, I had a brilliant idea; and from this idea, the time traveler was reborn.

So what if I had become too big to fit in my old time machine (plus going under the bed at my age is just unnecessary and wrong) I would still travel to the past, but leave my body in the present. Yes people, kind of like Inception.

Any moment now and she'll leave the room

This is how I would do it, I will write to a letter to my past self, then send it back in time, then…
As we come to the end of this year, there are a few things I feel I need to know before I get into this year…you see? Inception. I feel I need to be warned about 2012. Maybe future me will thank me, maybe I’ll mess up with the time-space continuum and cause the world to implode. Let’s see what happens.

Dear Ras of 2011,
So I finally rekindled your old passion, time travel. Yes, I know you are excited, yes, you are welcome. Now calm down…get from under there it works differently now! Anyway, I’m writing this from 2012, December, oh, ya, the Mayans and the makers of the movie 2012 are idiots, the world did not end. There were a few floods, but only on Lang’ata Road, nothing serious.

I thought you’d be better off if I let you know a few things that happen in 2012, then maybe your year won’t be [I left out this adjective to add some suspense. Some motivation for you to come to the future and slap me].

So you know that girl you are ‘in love’ with? The one you almost broke up with her last week but thought she was the one you’ll end up with? Ha! You are wrong…again. Turns out she wasn't the one and you’ll get your heart yanked out and stomped to little bits, before she puts in tiny shards of glass in it then stomps on it again.

But wait, before you text her, you’ll have some good moments somewhere through the year, but you’ll still be punched in the gut by cupid, so if I were you, and I am, you’d run like a man attacked by bees (and that’s really fast).

Well he should have run faster...

You know how we don’t like Valentines Day? Well, you’ll run away from the pressures of the ‘big day’ and go on a road trip with the boys. I feel like saying spoiler alert; but you won’t make it to Tinderet. The six-gear Toyota Alex you’ll be in will veer of the road and roll severally. Don’t worry, you won’t die; no one will. The next morning you’ll look at the car, totaled, then you’ll have mushy existential moments that will make you appreciate life, you’ll even blog about it. Of course you’ll ride on that story for a while and then people will move on, then you’ll come up with some sappy story, but no one will care because in that story you don’t almost die.

Oh snap! I was in there?

Life will be hard in the coming months. You’ll hate your job, you’ll be in a relationship you really shouldn't be in but you won’t see that because you are an idiot and you’ll be in love; two things that shouldn't mix. But you’ll take a bold step: you’ll quit your job. That of course doesn't help at all because in addition to food and rent, you still have to woo a certain lady, so you will have to embrace poverty.

Just as life hands you a few more lemons, your heart, as I mentioned earlier will be…okay fine, the first time was enough. So jobless, loveless, and almost hopeless, you will say F.U. to the world and go on a pilgrimage on Mount Kenya. Of course to you it’s just a trip but wait till you come back.

On the mountain you will see God, you will see a new you, who looks really like me now, a much less crappy version of the current you, you will be broken, you will lose all will to fight for that relationship, you will push yourself beyond your limits and you will achieve everything you had set out to. In addition, you will meet a girl. Now remain seated you dim bulb.

Yes, she is an amazing lass, you will like her, she will be everything you ever wanted, she will let you in and you will let her glimpse at your sorry insides. It won’t be anything serious at first, but she will leave an impression, and you will blog about her, and in the coming months you will spend more time with her, but your broken heart will try hard to keep all feelings at bay, and that is a good thing. (Future me just wrote me and told me to keep it that way a while longer, just a while…) so fret not, you will learn the art of emotional restrain, but by Jove will she amaze you!

She will challenge you, and ask you hard questions, questions about your life, and your art. Consequently, you will write more; about her, about life, about anything, but only because she will text you every day at 6, and ask you to write, and you will.

Your writing will grow, well people will tell you that. You’ll question your writing, want to hang your pen (huh?) but you’ll keep on. Then one day, something amazing will happen. You will get that job offer you always wanted. And before you are done celebrating, you will get news that you've been accepted for the Master’s degree you always wanted. This will be the beginning of a turnaround in your life. Don’t worry, you won’t mess it up.

You will become him...well not yet

Often you will ponder about the year, how you almost died, how you got your heart broken, how you lost (quit) your job, how you met God on the mountain. You will be more aware of the events in your life, and as you sit through class, looking at your classmates, most of them more than ten years older than you, you will be thankful. 

Somewhere in there after a really cool seminar presentation and later a film festival, you’ll go home late. On the way a group of evil ninjas will accost you and rob you of everything, including your sense of security. Your computer, work, manuscripts, school notes, seminar presentations, and notebook containing all your world domination schemes will be lost. But on the next day, through a miracle of sorts, you will rise (a dark knight) and you will be strengthened by the one thing the robbers didn't get, your hope.

If they looked like this it wouldn't be a robbery.

One day, while you travel through Ukambani, you will picture the whole year in one blog post, you will think of how best to write it and you will think of writing a letter to yourself. As you pass the shady pub on the hill you will smile, remember all the good things that have come out of 2012, you will text her, you will think of the research project you are working on, you will think of this blog, and you will think of your manuscripts yet to be published, and you will wish that you, a year ago, would only know what is in store for you. I know, Inception.

Happy New Year everyone. To bigger things.



  1. Love it!! Happy new year to you too!! :)

  2. you stole my end-of-year-blog-post idea!!! :P but I loved it anyway. Guess I'll just have to be more creative.
    Happy new year to you too!!

  3. Amazing writing! Happy New Year!