Freaking Army of Korean Zombies

I always thought zombies were fun creatures. Why on earth would you be scared of a zombie, not unless you were asleep and one creeps up on you. You only need to shoot or hit one in the head or, run away or walk briskly either way the stupid creatures would only catch you if for some weird reason you wanted to be caught. That however changed. I can now say that the only thing that freaks me out more than a zombie, is a spider and that's because zombies do not have eight legs!

My school shares an exchange program with a Korean university (I feel the need to state that it's the other Korea the one in the South) , so every year a group of Koreans spend a semester in Kenya while, sadly a bunch of Kenyans, for no apparent reason go to a country where there names will not be pronounced right, the food probably at some point wore a leash (most ignorant joke I have said this year...I promise) and Korean is the first language. While I have no problem with learning a second language, Korean isn't exactly at the top of my list. Anyway, this gives us the chance to share our cultural experiences and apparently learn something out of it.

I therefore developed a liking for Koreans. They were cool, they dressed like they own Mr. Price, and they had a surprisingly good taste in music. I still am not sure how Ehud, my Korean buddy listened to Common and Lauryn Hill. I'm beginning to sound like the American idiots who ask us how we live on trees and whether Kibaki is a member of the Mungiki; but there is a point to all this...I hope. So for some time I enjoyed Korean company, even their food; until I signed up for the International Youth Fellowship (IYF) 2008.

The IYF is an annual youth camp that runs for a whole week. Oh, and it is organized and facilitated by Koreans. So on seeing the poster I was somewhere between excited and confused. "So many Koreans! It's going to be just like a star wars meets Lord of the Rings meets Common and Lauryn Hill convention. I was convinced that this was going to be the event of the year...probably even the decade. The problem is at that particular time, I had malaria.

I usually don't get sick a lot but when I do, the disease makes me feel like a giant cyclops beast swallowed me, then threw me up then chewed me again, then shared me with his dragon friend who saw it a good idea to breath fire all over me.... So while I was fantasizing about how much fun the Korean event would be, the cyclops and the dragon were not yet done with me and so sadly, I wouldn't attend. At least I thought so.

One of my friends, now near the bottom of my best friends in the whole wide world list, and still waiting for me to accept their Facebook friend request, signed me up for the camp. As if that wasn't enough, he signed me up as: (Before we go any further, in this particular blog I will reveal my identity, then I will erase your memory at the end) Kefa Kariuki Peter. Kefa, is Amharic for Peter and so for obvious reasons having Peter and Kefa in the same name is redundant AND ANNOYING to say the least.

Just in case you didn't believe me!

So I got a call a few days later (the dragon was still playing his part) cheerfully reminding me that the camp was starting in a couple of days. My attempts to cancel didn't bear fruit when I was told that money was spent on registering me and that I had to go.

I managed to get there with a fever, cough, running nose and slur. I guess they are used to weird flus (ahem...swine flu...ahem...bird flu) because none of them seemed to care. "Kepa. Kepa! KEPA!!! KEPA KARIUKI PETER" "Crap! That's me. That's me? That's me!" Kepa? as if Peter was not bad enough. Then all of a sudden, with the cyclops spitting me out and the dragon spitting fire at me, I started sweating profusely. Nobody believes me when I give this story and this is why:

All of a sudden, all the Koreans turned pale and their eyes blood shot. Before I realized it was an army of Korean zombies it was too late. They were all over the place. "Kepa! Kepa! Kepa!" They kept repeating that as they came towards me. I tried to mumble a few words, "It's Kefa...It's Kefa!" "Stop calling me..." I remembered my first rule about zombies: hit them in the head; I did not have any weapon. Rule number 2, RUN! So I was wrong, this zombies could run!

They caught up with me eventually (you can't run far with a boiling point fever) then next thing I knew, I was surrounded by some Koreans and my freaked out friends.

The doctor said I was hallucinating because of the fever...yeah right!

**UPDATE**
Since I revealed my identity, I sadly have to erase your memory. All you need to do is stare at the image for 10 seconds thinking about unicorns or any mythical creature of your choice and then blink 15 times.